so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
