Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize