Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
