I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
