took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
