Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
