Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
