are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
