Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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