we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
