I hate your face
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
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