i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
