just tell him i said nine months
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
