I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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