Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
