I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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