yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
