saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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