The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
