Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
