i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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