are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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