I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
