problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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