You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize