How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
