Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
