My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
