Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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