she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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