You're completely useless in the revolution.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
