i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
