Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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