also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
