And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
