My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
