OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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