so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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