i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
