Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
