i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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