Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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