Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
