what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
