He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I did not marry a roomba.
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