I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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