Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
