so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
