We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
