that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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