everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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