What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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