If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
