I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We had to coat check the pizza.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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