Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Its about making memories worth repressing
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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