Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I'm really busy with my period
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