Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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