Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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