just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
