apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
