I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
