I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Can I color on your dick again?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
