Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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