My room smells like vodka and shame
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
