maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
