Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
