party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
