Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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