were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
